On the Wheel Again

Anyone else feel like a hamster on a wheel with this whole TTC thing?

I do. I guess when it’s meant to be it will be.

Maybe.

That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. *sigh*

‘I don’t know if I can even honestly say that we’re trying this month. I’m still charting and I began taking B2 and B12 again to try and get my charts back on track. My eating has been a lot better this week and over all, other than not getting enough sleep I think I’m doing alright.

J is tired a lot and worried about getting a job and I know that that has a lot to do with how he feels about TTC. Fact is, we’ve been unofficially trying for two years last month. We’ve been officially trying since last May. I’m 36, he’s 43 and time is running out. So should we continue to try and get pregnant during this period in our lives with the economy so up in the air? Do we have a choice if we want to have children?

So yeah, all things being equal I think we’re kind of half-assing it. I’m charting and taking vitamins but we’re not really timing BD any more or less than usual. Gone are the days where BD is possible every day. I think every other day would be the best we could do if we really did put our minds to it (and that’s okay with me). But that’s not happening either. Maybe once every three days… four, sometimes? Does it really matter?

I’d be lying though if I said that there wasn’t just the smallest part of me that resented the economy being bad and the Euro being up the in air, and my husband (though no fault of his own) being unemployed.

But it is what it is and in the long, grand scheme of things I know that I really don’t have any problems at all. I am so blessed beyond what so many have, I don’t want to complain too loudly.

Here’s my chart, I’m checking it against a chart from last June since that one seems to be the closest. Besides, it’s fun to compare.

So who knows? Maybe I’ll get pregnant this month. I doubt it, but then, anything is possible. Right?