Still Waiting

So this is where we’re at today:

Cycle Day one million, three hundred thousand, nine hundred and twelve. Give or take a few.

What?

Well it sure as heck FEELS like it!

I’m doing everything that I can to not obsess about the fact that I still haven’t started yet. That I still haven’t ovulated yet. That I still haven’t earned the right to start over.

And friends, it’s killing me!

I am so afraid that I’ve slipped back into an anovulatory pattern that I can’t seem to see straight. The last time this happened I went for ten long months without starting.

I know what your thinking. Yeah, I could call the doctor and request something to get things moving. But I don’t want to. It doesn’t have anything at all to do with my personal beliefs or my husband not wanting to. It really is nothing more than I don’t want to go there. Yet.

I have a confession to make.

I um… haven’t been taking any of my supplements or vitamins since I went out of town the second week of September. No Maca no folic acid. Nada.

And I don’t know why. Pouting, maybe?

I’ve also gained like ten pounds (which brings my three month total up to a whopping seventeen pounds. YOWZA!

Which could also have something to do with my not ovulating,

But those things stop now. I made a couple of healthy recipes this weekend to get me started out on the right foot this week. One of them, pumpkin and chocolate chip muffins are amazing (and only about 160 calories a piece!). I also met up with a friend of mine who just happens to be a personal trainer and got her to come up with a fitness plan to whip my sorry tail back into shape. You know, a shape other than ROUND that is!!

And J and I took the time to go for a walk tonight. I am recommitting to my health this week. These last few weeks I’ve really been struggling in a lot of areas of my life. Most of it has to do with feeling out of control- y’all ever feel like that?

So here we go. Week One of Operation Get My Backside in Gear is off and running!