ARG! This whole process is making a crazy woman out of me!
No, we were not “trying” this month- we had decided that well in advance. Unfortunately, I was just coming off from a long anovulatory cycle so everything was kind of messed up. I ovulated on CD 17 instead of around CD 14 and inadvertently BD on the day I ovulated. I maintain that the likelihood of a BFP this month is slim, for one thing due to weird schedules and periodic illnesses J’s guys were less than fresh, know what I mean?
The problem is that even knowing all of that I’m still hoping deep down that this will be the month. I’m crazy, right? This isn’t the month! I have no symptoms that aren’t AF related, I don’t ‘feel’ pregnant, nothing I’ve seen or felt has made me think otherwise. So why can’t I stop hoping?
If I follow a typical cycle length I can expect AF on Tuesday. I know I’m crazy, I know it. And yet I’m still praying for that small chance.
In other news, I’m being considered for a Director’s position at my work and J is being heavily courted by a huge company that seems to have made up their minds to hire him. We don’t know where yet or even when, just that they want him for something. Nice and vague, huh? I know that deep down that this probably isn’t the best time for us to get pregnant. We have a lot of changes coming up in the near months, including a move.
And yet I still hold out hope.
*praying*praying*praying*
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