I Have a Secret

Right now, right this very minute I am sitting in a bookstore. I am lounging back in a large overstuffed comfortable chair, playing on my phone and no one save my husband and I know that right now, right this very second I could be pregnant.

Right now, I could be carrying in my womb a future President. I could be pregnant with the person who finally cures cancer. If I am pregnant, then twenty years from now my child could be sitting in a bookstore people watching too. But for right now, his or her existence hasn't even been confirmed yet.

Right now I have a secret.

And that right there is what I think is at the heart of the two week wait- a time that is dreaded as much as it is celebrated.

It's that time between when you've done everything that was within your power to do and the time when you can finally find out if chemistry and mother nature were on your side. It's a real life biology course going on right in your very own body and it causes you to do all sorts of things that you might never have considered before. Things like:

• Trying to figure out unobtrusive ways to poke yourself in the breast while at work. >Jab with a pencil<... am I tender? > Brush arm across chest while reaching for drink>... am I more sensitive than normal? Etc...

Or perhaps you’ll enjoy a bit of mental indecisiveness like this:

• Uuuggghhhh, I'm feeling sick to my stomach. Morning sickness? Could it be? Surely this is too early! But what if it's not? Ooohh, I bet it is, I remember mom telling me how sick she got whilst pregnant with me... or maybe it was that egg salad I got out of the machine at work. It looked a little funny... but then again, Meredith ate it and she seems fine so maybe it is morning sickness... (repeat ad nauseam for at least ten days)

And don’t even get me started on the pregnancy testing! I went to the store this morning before work with the intention of using a coupon I found on line for $2.00 off a FRER. Imagine my surprise when I realized that even WITH the coupon I was still looking at spending $13.00 for two tests! I went with a box of Answer tests that were three for $8.00 instead. Seriously, we’re talking about something that I’m going to pee on, probably dog cuss, and the toss in the garbage! Is there a better example of throwing your money away? Especially when you consider that our bodies give us a very natural method of determining pregnancy that doesn’t cost us a thing!

So right now I have a secret. Right now I know that I could possibly, just maybe, be pregnant. By this time next week I’ll know.

Right now I’m sitting in a bookstore and I’m content to dream. See, that’s the other thing about that two week wait. You get to do that a lot. And that’s okay too.